This blog is changing. As I find a way to create a new blog of just stories, this one will go to the background and treated more as a journal than anything else. Sometimes when I share things they are so grossly misunderstood.
In my life and at this point the only thing I want to achieve in my life, well, start achieving is to gain more knowledge to go out and help people with it. I love the healthcare industry but more importantly I love being an advocate. Next is to finally feel. While I am exploring this aspect of my life, I know that I could meet alot of different people to achieve this or even just one. Hurt? I don't believe you should have pain to gain anything and remember if tears flow they are just to water the garden of yet another new and beautiful opportunity. There is no reason in this world to be hateful. People are who they are.
One thing I am trying so hard to do is to be patient. I am a contact person. I cannot go days without talking or some form of communication. I personally would rather have face to face contact, then phone, then text but which ever way I receive it maybe once in the morning or before bed especially then it would be great. I choose carefully. If I wasn't interested in you then I would be gracious and slowly disappear or abruptly depending on the person.
Erotic, erroneous touch is one of the most important things a person can learn in this life. Sometimes getting past our faults and just knowing they are there, is one of the hardest things that we have in life but it is also the most important piece of knowledge and peace once you just accept that you are who you are and to improve yourself, body and soul is only up to you and your desire to be who you truly want to be. Sometimes I am fine with the way I am now but I do remember the great feeling weighing less and being more active and that is exactly what I am going to do.
If you read this today, please be patient for I am not sure I know how to be yet. I am scared that the people that matter will leave. I am so selective who resides in my circle that I forget when I become too selective and they leave me I am alone. I cherish true friendship and I would lay my life for that person no matter who they are. when I open up, you have my heart. Male or female. It has been a few long months that i have just talked to my best friend. I know I can open up to you with anything and you won't judge me. I have only known you for a small bit but you have shared with me and I know I need to share with you. Remember, I am a very open person to everyone, but with those that really know me I am open with my soul. I don't do that often and there are very few. Besides my sister you are the only one now. I am trying so hard to bring others into my circle to share pieces of me. One here one there. maybe that is what these other women talk about a girls night. I know I need to step out and enjoy but I am learning. I want to enjoy to feel not enjoy because I am in great need. I see that so often in women that are stuck where I used to be or part of me still is but I have been moving forward. against the grain as you will see. But if you are in my life, you are teaching me to feel. I have never just touched and taken the time to know what it is to really feel someone and experience all the sensations that go with it. Erroneous feelings bring out the desire to love. You just want to say those words because of how you feel. It isn't just a saying or a meaning that you are my life partner but loving someone because of the pleasurable feelings you get the words are not a meaning but a wonderful feeling. It does not mean matrimony or a commitment it means you have given me a gift of pleasure, wonderment, release, a singing and sunshine into my soul. I am not a devoted Christian but I am a Christian and my soul makes up who I am right and wrong. When you soul is being fed is swirls and feels warm and cool all at once and if I say I love you it is because you are feeding my soul. I love you for that and it will forever be in me. These last few weeks in my life have been for hope and I have been given a chance to share a journey of not only myself but of my friend. I hope that I can help them start to achieve theirs as they are helping me move forward. God sent me a special gift of creativity, music, and feeling and I hope that I can give to you what you are or have given to me. Tomorrow is important but today and now is a gift that I will never take for granted. All I ask is you show me response. The day or time that you cannot provide that is the day that we move forward and realize our gift needs to grow. You know I am writing this last part for only you. You are the most amazing soul I have met in a long time. you fill me with compassion, and the feeling that things are right in the world. you have given me a friendship I never take lightly. I feel your struggle and some of your pain and to be able to kiss away some of that is the best gift I could receive because you have allowed me to. I am always here even if nothing is said, if everything is said, it is and always be un unconditional ear that it falls upon. You have a gift love, it is of music, and loving, and caring, and understanding. It is a gift you give freely, maybe a tiny bit at a time but what you do give is all of you and that my friend is a good person. There are not great or awful people in this world. They are mean. They hurt and don't know how to share parts of them and then there are good people. The ones that have flaws that are loved, that care, that are just good and you are one. I have been blessed to feel part of your being and it wasn't what was in just your touch or when I look in your eyes, for they are not completely open yet, but your music is a gift. That is the door and one I am standing at and I am glad you opened that door. Just thank you for being you.
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