I read an article that the day after a holiday or major event strikes a cord with a new beginning. A new beginning of something I suppose, though I do feel that is correct. When we experience a grand event like a major holiday, it brings forth new hope that maybe, just maybe in our lifetime we will achieve something. We are 5 days from the eve of a new year and people all ready know what they want for their resolutions. Resolutions..what are they really. Again it goes back to the concept of a new beginning. Right after my separation (not yet divorced but since he cheated for 4 years I would with certainty say pending) I went to get a tattoo on my shoulder of my son that I lost (I say I because looking back I seemed to be the one to make all the arrangements even the favorite song by Carly Simon,the only partnership through the ordeal was a hole in our lives and that of tissue usage. If it were not for knowing my three other children, I think then I should have known to go another way. Our beliefs were so different. But I thank God we didn't because I look at what we have created and I do not regret one bit of every day since I have had them.)and while looking for the right script, a symbol appeared (the one on my profile) and it meant new beginning. So needless to say in my "excitement" for a new beginning, it is now plastered about 2 inches large above my right breast. I told myself so when i look in the mirror it is to remind myself not to look back but everything is a new beginning. (now that I am past that phase and wish it was about an inch and a half smaller, what is done is done. So not to all those out there. DO NOT go to a tattoo parlor after a traumatic event.)
So, today, the day after Christmas, of course after sending my ex pictures of his kids I get reamed but that is okay. I have decided that though we will not communicate unless we have to, I will do one thing that will make me better. I will gather all the photos of the year of the kids and grand kids and put them in a shutterfly book and just have it delivered every year. 25 years is a long time and though I said we would never have contact, he helped me create these wonderful creatures and I AM the better person so, Merry Christmas. (Doesn't mean I will be admitted after death) I have decided on my son's graduation gift and it will be a pretty penny. He has stood on his own and I am so proud of him. When he receives it, I hope it will be part of him for the rest of his life. Actually, it will not be as expensive as I thought, so I hope this starts him off. I know it will me.
In the next year, I will be studying hard, and taking new steps finally. I realized though it would be nice to meat that one that is your best friend, or the one that people say are your soul mate, I can move through life hoping that I will run across him, but I will continue to grow rich in all the countries that I am vowing to visit. I made a new "app" on my excel sheet, to make sure I stay focused. I thought of starting with the alphabet to guide me but I think I like pi the tail on the donkey best. I will pick the country and research it while I save my money. I will just need travel costs for when I get there I will be doing work. I want to know some of the language before and then I want to help at their hospital or their school. Something. I will not be long but they will be in my pictures and my life. They will help me fulfill my soul mate. For I believe my soul mate is within me also. and I have, all my life desired to do this. Now I can. All those dreams I can make real and to prepare myself for my future life. I can't wait for my next adventure and not to have wrinkles again for a while. But that is another story.
So, in 5 days, I will go to my second First Night, and throw all my regrets in the fire (yes I need to bring a jar with me and I need to get writing), and then hand all my wishes to the Gypsy for the coming year. If I think back to last year it all came true. I think someone tried to throw in some extra lessons, but this year I will be ready. Right now, I will finish this. I will write each day for the next 5 days to prepare for a new beginning again. I do believe that damn Hallmark channel is calling. it is the only place that I believe I will ever get my romantic kiss. The one that your eyes are closed, your breathe is gone and the world twirls around. The one that you know is the one, not just maybe or a little tingle, but the one that blinds you and makes you hold on like an F5 is hitting your heart...
cheers...(hmmm i am going to look for my own personal salutation I believe)
Dumagic (because magic is what makes us all unique)
No comments:
Post a Comment