Understanding Karma

     As I sit at the computer writing my status of the morning on my Facebook page, I mentioned my kids and how I will miss them and how lucky I am to have such great people in my life.  I am not a church going person, but I do believe in a God or a higher being.  Of course their are more superior beings than myself but I thank goodness my children don't know about this Blog.  Then as I was thanking everyone I thought about Karma and what it really means.

     Okay, I was going to put in all these definitions about Karma but screw it.  It really means cause and effect.  Good and Bad.  I think life balances out every emotional and physical event that happens in ones life.  I always hear Karma is a Bitch.  I am sure that is true.  As all these things keep happening to me, I have been wondering over the last year what I have done to deserve all of this.  I believe I am a really good person with a good heart.  Not to say that in the past I have made mistakes.  Maybe though those mistakes were signs that I needed to change something and I pretty much ignored the signs.

     I am not hurt from my ex husbands affairs for I have had a few myself.  It isn't that he married someone pretty much by going to the next courtroom after we signed our papers but the lies.  I have always come forward with the truth especially when asked.  But to lie to my face.

     I am not hurt about losing my job, but the lies around it.  To question a calling that is inside me to help take care of people is devastating.  To sit in front of me and lie.  I know the people that I have helped throughout my career are what help make up my being.

     The pain in my body and the surgeries.  I ask myself, why at 48 almost 49, why am I like this?  Because I let it.  It is a defense and an excuse.  I will never be skinny model but I am not big Bertha either.  So when I quit smoking for good why the pain?  To show me the mistake I made and never to make it again.

     So, Karma.  We make it.  It is our own cause and effect.  That is why when everything bad happened, and I cried, I was not really alone.  I had everyone around me that I could go to and they love me unconditionally.  If they love me unconditionally then why can't I love myself unconditionally.  Who knows..maybe I just stepped into the realm of self love.  woo hoo.  I didn't even need the koo koo doctor to tell me that...but the pills help ha ha.

     So Karma comes around everyday every minute.  You make it.  Though I feel I have a sixth sense alot, I am not a witch to cast a spell.  Sir William would love that one.

     Karma is a bitch so you better be nice...